i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
