Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
