My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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