Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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