what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
