I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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