How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
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