I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
