She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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