everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
