The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
