I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
