i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize