im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
