dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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