I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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