Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
