i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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