i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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