Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
