would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
