so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
