Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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