Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Found the puke drawer
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
