Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
