Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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