:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Randomize
