whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
