I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
My pussy is not your playground.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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