I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
