I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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