i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
