there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Randomize