Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
