i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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