I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
