I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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