Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
