new low.... made out with someone while peeing
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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