Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize