You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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