Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
