Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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