is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
