The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
