Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
