You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
