yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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