oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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