Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
