I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize