I must be too annoying 4 u.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
