something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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