I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
