She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
