My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
