After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
