Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
