I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
