i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
