Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
