What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize