she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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