call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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