one might say we're banned from that church
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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