Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I cut my penus on the lid.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
